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Reviews(Hiroo Onoda)

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Hiroo Onoda By: Bronson Elliott with contributions by shit-head (Kent Moylan) and dick-face (Everett Graham).If you want bad ass, let me tell you about this motherfucking Slant-eyed Rice-eating Nazi-jap. This guy is one fucking Slant-eyed Rice-eating Nazi-jap bad ass.Hiroo Onoda was born on March 19, 1922. He is a former Japanese army intelligence officer who fought in World War II, and he didn’t surrender until 1974. He spent almost thirty years of his life defending a small island in the Philippines, for shit all. If nobody found him, he’d still being doing it, what a bad ass Japanese-Nazi fuck. Onoda was trained as an intelligence officer and on 26 December 1944 and was sent to Le’bang Island (sounds like a French porno) in the Philippines. Japan ordered this crazy motherfucker to hamper any enemy attack on the island, this included destroying the airstrip and the pier at the harbour, and he was under orders to never under any circumstances to surrender or take his own life.When Hiroo landed on Le’bang Island, he linked up with a couple of soldiers tasked with the same assignment. These soldiers outranked Hiroo, and they stopped him from carrying out his assignment. This made it easier for the United States to take the island and by 1945 the U.S had killed the entire force except for 3 soldiers, including Hiroo.Americans were dropping letters to Hiroo telling him that the war is over, but Hiroo doesn’t trust anyone, especially his step-dad, because that guys a dick. Soon enough one of Hiroo’s soldiers decided to run away and surrender, the others thought the Americans took him away and they got even more secure with their tactics.In 1952 letters and family pictures were dropped to them from aircrafts urging them to give up, because the war was over. But Hiroo decided to:”Fuck That Shit” and decided to go crazy with keeping the island from the Americans, and they started shooting civilian fishing boats. Now these fishermen were probably asking themselves “What the fuck is going on?” as three crazy ass Japanese soldiers dressed in WW2 combat outfits jumped out of the trees firing bullets while screaming “For The Emperor!” Sad way to die for your country, when the war has been over for seven years.Soon enough a Japanese College dropout visited the island in search of a legendary panda or some shit and he Met Hiroo. This is where The College Drop-Out asks him why he isn’t back home, because the war is over, and he replies with “I don’t think I can trust you, I will only believe my officers.”So the drop-out went back home and told the public his story and in 1974, his same officer that sent him to the island (who is now retired in a happy home, with a happy Japanese family) decided to visit him and tell him that the war was over. Finally believing that the war is over he handed over his uniform, 500 rounds of ammunition, and several hand grenades back to the officer and went back home. He was pardoned from 30 counts of murder from the Philippines and the United States innocent casualties are too high to count. He was allowed to go back home if his country promised they would pardon him from his position of the army and make sure he never defends an island again.30 years for your country out of 30